Suggestions to Talk Your Parents.

    Parent and child
  1. Be Positive. Try broaching the subject when things are going well in your parents’ life, rather than at a time of stress or in response to a problem or incident. Allow your parents to make their own choices and resist the temptation to push issues unless their health or safety is in jeopardy.
  2. Ask for help. Ask mom or dad to help you understand what’s important to them and what kind of assistance they would like to help them stay in their home as long as possible.
  3. Make it easier for your parents to accept help. Talk to your parents about your experience, or that of a friend or relative, in asking for help. Show understanding about how hard it is sometimes for all of us to ask for assistance from others.
  4. Focus on them.  Focus on your parents’ needs, desires, and worries about their current and future living situation. Ask them how they feel about climbing the stairs, or if they have concerns about other safety hazards in their home. Talk about modifications that can be made to make them more comfortable.
  5. Ask about daily activities. Find out what your parents’ would like help with the most. Is it the cooking? Cleaning? Yard work? Transportation? Ask them if anything in their current situation detracts from their enjoyment of daily activities.
  6. Know the status of their health. Ask your parents about any health problems have and ascertain their ability to manage daily healthcare. How often do they fill prescriptions? Are they having problems taking their medications as directed? Can they afford the medications they need?
  7. Make sure they can pay for their expenses. It may be difficult to “but into” a parent’s finances, but it’s important to know if they can afford to pay bills, eat well, and take advantage of the things that bring joy to their lives.
  8.  Find out how your parents get around. Ask your parents how they get around on a typical day. Do they drive or take a bus? Are they getting rides from friends or are they walking? Knowing how your parents travel can help you help them find the best ways to get where they want to go safely.
  9.  Research community resources. Check out transformation, meal, or home care services that are available to make it possible for your parents to remain independent.
  10. Compare costs and services. Compare the costs and benefits of remaining in the home with that of Assisted Living Centers or Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Many of these are viable alternatives to remaining in the home. Thoughts on Independent Living Research shows that to live independently in their own home is of paramount importance to older Americans. But you and your parents may have different ideas of what this means. For your own peace of mind and for the well being of your parents, it’s important to plan for the future by talking about the kind of help they’ll need – or want – in order to be comfortable in their homes. Here are ten things you should know to make the conversation easy and effective.

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